so many days lazy to post..

theres so much thoughts but i forgotten them all... anyway

if you are happy, things can only go worse, so be careful when you are very happy, thats when you are in the most danger.

today's mood is 30%

lost my freaking wallet AGAIN. 4 months after i made my ic... crap.
God, please let that whoever person pick it up be a kind soul and return my ic...
God. Please.

the same old thoughts happened whenever i encounted a bad situation:

"Please God have mercy on me, o right i havent been very nice to You lately... but, please, I don't want this to happen again, please let me find back my lost item, please let that person be kind, please let it be at the police post... PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME..
ok if things go well i promise i will go back to You... ah crap that was so unsincere.. but still, what can i do!?!@#@#! its not like i can't help feeling like that!! Really God please don't play a joke on me like that..

Ok i know... everything will go bad for me right? I wont be able to get it back. I know. Heck, I give up. I dont think I can change Your decision... if You want to hurt me today its not like i can do anything about it.. ok i give up... i assume for the worse... i dun tink i can change Your mind if You decided to hurt me today..."

and so, i never got it back, as usual.

but still, there were miracles before like getting my laptop back at the arcade.. that was a real miracle i can't deny, the very rare chance of God's mercy on me.. still, He decided i should get it stolen much later...




"but still.... i dont want to go thru this again... please at least i want my ic back... "





sometimes people say you should thank God for the bad things that did not happen. I used to believe in that too, evident from one of my earlier posts.. but now thinking about it, its unrealistic... i mean, i thank God that today i did not die, i did not get injured, i did not get my laptop stolen, my parents came home safely, no one i know die today, theres electricity and food and water and housing for me.. that i still get to have fun today... i mean, its unrealistic.. its NOT natural... indeed when you are happy, things can only go bad... my theory has always been proved correct and i still failed to be on the alert for dangers everyday especially when i'm in a state of succesive happiness... i always forget about the dangers that could happen... even as innocent as carrying a bunch of stuff back, walking, knowing that i placed the wallet in my pocket...





on the slight more upbeat note why im so happy, yea cannon is nearly completed.. its such a miracle... but haiz my cash... anyway bought a whole bunch of stuff today... spray cans, paper for wrapping... more raw materials... i def dun wan to waste time to go there again, and lose another thing maybe... need to work... 4 weeks left...